For many clients the deep experience of emotion has been blocked or repressed. Hypnotherapy has proven to be a valuable experiential technique to get those repressed emotions flowing. In other words, to help people to get back into their bodies so the negative physical energy can get moving out. Activating the energy in the body helps release any “shock” so the emotional energy can flow out. This may also release the body memories or cellular memories, that the individual may be holding onto.
Carl Jung, the famous psychologist, believed in a “collective unconscious”, referring to the information stored in an individual’s subconscious. Jung believed that the collective unconscious contained all the experiences of long term memory including the person’s emotions, behaviors and cognition, as well as the unconscious material of the parents, grandparents and the human species itself. These are referred to as archetypes. Once an individual is in a deeply relaxed state as is often produced in hypnosis, they can access the “unconscious material” that may keep them stuck in fears, phobias, self-defeating patterns and numbing of feelings.
Researchers, such as Rossi, Janov and Candace Pert have concluded that a person who learns a task or creates a memory while under a particular emotional state will repeat the task or recall the memory while under the influence of the same emotional state. In other words, if when I was seven years old, I was comforted by being given something to eat when I was sad or tired, I may have concluded in that child state that the best way to comfort myself is to eat when sad and tired. Obviously, this can have many negative consequences on my overall health and well-being. Using hypnotherapy, we can help a person to go back to the memory where that behavior was created and change the belief in the ego state in which it was created. By doing this a person can use the wise adult part of themselves to create new and healthier behaviors of comfort that are unrelated to food or other unwanted behaviors in the present. You can see by this example, the many practical possibilities for improving our coping skills and living more effectively through the use of hypnotherapy. For more information, contact Tom Gigliotti, LISW, certified hypnotherapist.
Family Behavioral Health is a counseling practice near Cleveland that Ease@Work has utilized for many years. This entry was reproduced from an entry by Tom Gigliotti on February 2, 2011 at blog.fbhsllc.com
The word “domestic” might lead some business leaders to believe domestic violence (DV) is a personal issue that does not affect their workplace. DV Awareness Month provides an opportunity to shed light on some stark realities.
Standing Firm is an organization based in Pittsburgh PA. Their mission is to “engage a critical mass of employers in southwestern PA in addressing partner violence as a workplace and workforce issue.” Their mission might be directed toward employers in southwestern PA, but their message applies to businesses worldwide. Here are a few facts from their website www.standingfirmswpa.com:
One quarter (25 percent) of all workplace violence events in the U.S. each year are related to partner violence.
When a victim of partner violence leaves the abusive partner, the one place the batterer knows the victim can be found is at work.
Batterers come to work to harass, harm or kill their victims. Not only is the victim in danger, but so are the victims’ coworkers, your customers, and others in the building.
Ninety four percent of corporate security directors rank partner violence as a high security problem.
Domestic violence should be considered a direct concern in every workplace.
Another agency with excellent domestic violence resources is the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence (CAEPV). Their mission is to “aid in the prevention of partner violence by leveraging the strength and resources of the corporate community.” I added their Facebook page as a favorite on our Ease@Work Facebook page. Feel free to visit and “like” both. Their most recent blog entry lists 10 things you can do about domestic violence. Here are a few but see their page for the rest.
Remember and share the National Domestic Violence Hotline number 800-799-7233 (SAFE) or www.thehotline.org.
Visit www.loveisnotabuse.com for tips on speaking to children about healthy relationships.
Don’t ask “Why would that victim go back?” Ask “Why would a person hit or abuse someone they love?”
A Harris Poll was conducted for Johns Hopkins Research in which 46 percent of female victims of domestic violence contacted their employee assistance program (EAP) for help. Of this group of women who accessed their EAP because of domestic violence, 71 percent said their workplace performance improved.
Providing a safe environment where domestic violence can be discussed confidentially with a professional is the most obvious benefit to having a quality EAP. Besides providing a confidential professional to speak with, your EAP should also offer domestic violence training. Employees need to know what they should do if they are victims, coworkers, managers or supervisors of victims or perpetrators.
Most people believe that it is in a victim’s best interest to leave an abusive situation. Encouraging somebody to leave without an adequate safety plan is a bad idea because leaving is the most dangerous time for the victim. As I stated at the beginning of this post, it even puts the workplace at significant risk.
As the Public Service Announcement at the beginning of this post states, the Allstate Foundation is kicking off a campaign that is designed to encourage people to talk about domestic violence and end the taboo around this issue. For more information on this campaign, visit www.clicktoempower.org.
The fact that domestic violence is taboo helps to perpetuate it. We need to end the silence in order to end the violence. It must be done with special care though. Use your EAP and the other resources listed in this post to reduce the risk of domestic violence in your workplace.
Several weeks ago, Ease@Work was asked to participate in a diabetes education program at one of our client organizations. At first, we thought it was because Ease could offer consultation with a certified diabetes educator through the nutritional coaching feature of our services. However, we were surprised to learn that we were being requested to focus on depression as associated with diabetes.
The group conducting this program had taken a survey of employees attending the sessions, asking pertinent questions about their actual diabetes care program, but also included in the survey were questions about depression, such as:
• How often do you feel blue or depressed?
• How long do these episodes of feeling down last?
• Does feeling down make you feel isolated or unable to enjoy things you used to enjoy? Etc.
Almost 50 percent of those who took the survey gave responses that indicated some level of depression.
Those in diabetes education are very familiar with the link between depression and diabetes. However, we found that link between mental health and diabetes is not as well-known in the general medical community or even by those who have lived with diabetes for years.
• People with diabetes are at greater risk for depression
• Poor diabetes control can cause symptoms that look like depression
(high or low blood sugar during the day may make you feel tired or anxious; low blood sugar levels can lead to hunger and eating too much; low blood sugar at night can disturb your sleep; high blood sugar at night may make you get up often to urinate and in turn leave you feeling tired during the day)
The ADA goes on to say that there are no easy answers about why those with diabetes have a greater risk for depression, but they suspect a variety of reasons contribute to the likelihood, including:
• The stress of daily diabetes management
• The feeling of being set apart from family or friends due to the extra work of managing diet
• Other health complications from diabetes
• Feeling of losing control due to trouble or inability to keep blood sugar levels where you want them
• Tensions between family members, friends, doctors and other medical providers involved in diabetes care
• A vicious cycle of depression and low energy can lead to poor blood sugar testing/monitoring, which in turn exacerbates the situation; or anxiety may make it hard to maintain a good diet, or lead to skipping meals, which again, will cause blood sugar levels to get out of control.
As a comprehensive employee assistance program (EAP), we could offer assistance to a diabetic employee/or a family member in a collaborative manner on a number of levels:
• Consultation with a registered dietitian certified in diabetes education (CDE). A CDE could help the individual with menu planning, provide information on healthy food choices, discussion of any particular blood sugar control questions and more.
• Consultation with a counselorexperienced with depression as associated with medical conditions, such as diabetes. A clinician could help the individual/or family member address stressors, anxiety, feelings about not being in control, how to recognize/deal with depression, etc…
• Consultation with a fitness coach. Getting proper exercise is also a factor in managing diabetes effectively. Physical activity is also known to boost the “feel good” hormones produced by the body, which can alleviate some forms of depression.
On a personal note: A couple weeks after Ease’s participation in the diabetes education program, I happened to be talking with a longtime friend who is a diabetic. He was struggling emotionally and said he really didn’t feel like talking with me or anyone else…not to take it personally, but he just felt completely spent and down. I also knew he had been having trouble recently keeping his blood sugar levels in check.
When I asked him if he was aware of the connection between depression and diabetes, he was completely unaware…and this from a person who has been managing diabetes for over 25 years.
After talking with him a little longer, it was as if a light bulb went on for him – the connection between certain events and situations in his life seemed to make more sense when paired with the role depression may have played in them. I offered him some reading resources, and while I did not expect to remedy his situation, at least I know he has more awareness about the link between diabetes and depression, and that he is open to addressing the issue with a professional.
If you are diabetic, make an effort to monitor your mood as well as your blood sugar. If you find yourself struggling, call your EAP and speak to a counselor. If you know somebody who is diabetic, do not assume that they know of this connection. Chances are, they are not aware of it and they might be more likely to take action to get help if they understand the biological link to this common mental health issue.
It has long been rumored that the Ohio BWC Drug Free Workplace Program (DFWP) was on the chopping block. The BWC sent an announcement on March 31, 2010, confirming those rumors.
“The BWC will phase out DFWP effective July 1, 2010,” according to an update to the Ohio BWC website which was posted on April 1, 2010. April Fools Day, interesting timing. The DFWP is being replaced with the Drug Free Safety Program (DFSP).
Since helping businesses to maintain a drug free work environment is a big part of what Ease@Work does, I spent some time reviewing the DFSP information on the BWC Website. If you would like to do the same, follow this link to the BWC DFSP information Webpage. Here are the highlights as I see them:
The DFSP is not limited to five years, as was the case with the DFWP.
Previous participants are eligible to join even if they timed out of the DFWP.
Stacking of discounts is back, but don’t get too excited. If your organization is group rated, your DFSP discount is limited to 3 percent.
The DFSP is supposedly simpler and easier to implement than the DFWP.
The application process has been streamlined.
The employee education requirement has been reduced from two hours initially and two hours of annual refresher to one hour initially and one hour annual refresher.
The supervisor education requirement has been reduced from four hours initially and two hours of annual refresher to two hours initially and one hour of annual refresher. (Kudos to the BWC for this! As an employee of an EAP which is in the business of selling Drug Free training, even I think that 6 hours of supervisor training was too much.)
The DFSP emphasizes tailored approaches to loss prevention and risk management, which includes a mandatory safety review and the provision of accident-analysis training for supervisors.
Two levels instead of three.
The DFSP Basic Level provides a 4 percent discount, which is down significantly from the 10 percent for DFWP Level 1. Group rated organizations cannot receive a discount for participating in the DFSP at the Basic Level. Requirements at the Basic Level include a “safety review” which “walks them through a series of questions designed to demonstrate where the gaps are within the overall approach to workplace safety.”
As was the case with the DFWP, the Basic Level requires a written substance policy. The DFSP includes an outline of questions which, when answered thoroughly, will assist you with designing your own policy. They still suggest that you run your policy past legal counsel for review, but believe this process will be less expensive than paying an employment law attorney to design your policy from scratch.
As stated in the bullets above, the employee education and supervisor training has been reduced in quantity but still follows the same basic guidelines as the DFWP. As with the DFWP, the DFSP drug testing requirements include pre-employment, reasonable suspicion and post-accident testing, as appropriate, return-to-duty and follow-up testing for employees being allowed to retain employment after a positive test. The Basic Level does not require random testing.
The DFSP Advanced Level provides an additional 3 percent “incremental” discount for a total of 7 percent. Only companies which are not receiving a group rating will qualify for the 7 percent discount. Group rated organizations may qualify for the 3 percent incremental discount if they participate at this level. In other words, while discount stacking is technically allowed, a DFSP discount is only available for group rated businesses if they qualify at the Advanced Level and their discount is limited to 3 percent rather than the 7 percent available to businesses which are not group rated.
The Advanced Level requires everything that the Basic Level requires, plus Advanced Level organizations must create a safety action plan from the safety review required at the Basic Level. This plan “moves employers from identifying gaps in safety to taking the appropriate steps to address these issues and better protect the workforce.” BWC safety consultants are available to offer professional guidance in this area.
The Advanced Level also requires random drug testing of 15 percent of the average annual total workforce and it requires a pre-established “working relationship with an employee assistance professional to whom they can refer an employee” testing positive for banned substances and the employer must pay for the cost of the assessment.
This is the cliff notes version of the DFWP / DFSP transition. Again, for a far more detailed explanation, go to the BWC website.
To address the elephant in the room - Why bother?
While the BWC says the new program is “easier to implement” it sure seems like more work with the safety review and safety action plan requirements. On top of it, for your extra efforts you are being rewarded with significantly reduced discounts.
Is it worth the bother?
In my opinion, yes it is. Even under the DFWP when the discounts were 10-20 percent, the most significant cost savings were ancillary to the BWC discounts. The biggest savings came with improvements in workplace safety, improved employee productivity and even wellness. It is apparent to me that the BWC has put a great deal of effort into maximizing the ancillary benefits by improving the focus on workplace safety. I believe that any effort to improve workplace safety is a good investment.
Every once in a while, I read an article or blog that really resonates within. Most recently, it was Jim Smith, The Executive Happiness Coach and Ease@Work workshop facilitator, who managed to make me stop and think about things beyond my day-to-day routines.
As a subscriber to Jim’s newsletter, I always enjoy reading what he has to say about choosing happiness. But this particular newsletter, Spring Cleaning, really hit home in so many ways.
Jim makes the point that while many of us do spring cleaning of our physical spaces – clearing out the drab and clutter – why don’t we make it a point to spring clean our emotional house, too?
He says it with such clarity…
“Windows don’t get dirty overnight. But over months and years the drips and streaks build up a little at a time until even a sunny day looks drab and colorless. So it is with our emotional lives. We build up judgments and beliefs ever so slowly, and then one day we wake up and think, ‘When did the world turn so negative?’…
“…in your house, use your favorite window cleaner and a dry rag. In your head and heart try scraping away a few assessments that are no longer serving you…”
Oh my gosh, how true this is! If we can strip away our preconceptions and judgments about people and situations, look at everything in a fresh way…what new things might we see? To experience people and the things around us unencumbered by the build up of our past expectations?
Ah yes, it may be hard work for some to let go of all that…but really, consider what do you really have by hanging on to those old stories?
Of course, there’s so much more! Jim goes on to give examples of positive self-talk, creating new habits, how conscious breathing can calm and de-stress the body and mind, de-cluttering your emotional closet…
But there’s no sense in repeating here what he crafted so perfectly on his site. I would urge anyone reading this to read the full newsletter by Jim. Heck, you should even subscribe to his newsletters – it won’t cost you a dime and if you’re like most people I know, you’ll look forward to each edition.
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From an employee assistance program (EAP) viewpoint, Ease@Work understands the importance of employees taking care of their mental and emotional houses. Numerous studies demonstrate when employees have issues of concern with roots outside of the workplace, those concerns aren’t left behind when they enter their place of business – the worries come with the employee and can affect performance and productivity. These concerns may include:
By Swan Khanna-Salehi, LISW, LICDC, CEAP, SAP, Ease@Work Clinical Manager
A drug-free workplace is an expectation of every organization and the right of every employee. The degree to which an organization makes efforts to assure a drug-free workplace varies significantly. In some cases, the organization assumes that their employees are not abusing drugs on the job and figures that their managers would be able to identify substance abusing employees. This is probably the most common reason that I hear from organizations that do not have a formal drug-free workplace program.
If this is the case in your organization, consider this question. Do you utilize hair testing for pre-employment drug testing? Wouldn’t a casual drug user stop using while job hunting? If they were smart they would. You hire smart employees don’t you? According to Omega Laboratories, Inc. the typical detection window for urine testing is 2-3 days. THC, the active drug in marijuana, is the one major exception which can be detected in urine for up to 20 days. How long is the average job search? Longer than 20 days? Even if you are utilizing pre-employment drug testing, only the more expensive hair test will detect illicit drug use for up to 90 days.
You want to be sure you do not hire substance abusers, but pre-employment testing is only one element in establishing a drug free workplace. It is also important to discourage the abuse of drugs and alcohol among your current employees with random drug testing. The less expensive option of urine testing is effective here because of the element of surprise.
Your EAP is a very important component of any drug free workplace and there are several ways your drug-free workplace program should be benefiting from your EAP. Even if you do not drug test at all, your EAP can help to reduce the incidence of substance abuse in the workplace in a number of ways.
Drug free workplace policy: Your EAP can review your drug free policy to ensure that it is effective and can help you to establish one if you do not currently have such a policy.
Employee education: Employees need to be told what substance abuse is and that the company does not allow it. The policy makes this official, but you should have your EAP spend at least an hour per year providing substance abuse education to your employees. Questions about prescription drugs are among the most common at these employee trainings. Can a prescription drug generate a legitimate positive drug test? Yes! An out-of-date prescription will not overturn a positive drug test. If an employee is prescribed a pain medication for an injury that resolves before the prescription is finished, they might keep the remainder “just in case.” Is it safe to take that medication several months later? Maybe, but maybe not. It is possible that this employee may have had changes in their diet or health that may cause a different reaction than what they experienced when the prescription was current. A more serious complication could be caused by an adverse drug interaction with a new prescription, over-the-counter drug or herbal remedy.
Supervisor education: According to the article “Bad habits on campus: how to deal with staff and faculty who are addicts , ” in the July 1, 2008 issue of University Business, “Issues of discrimination or retaliation will pop up when supervisors or managers act as unlicensed Psychiatrists.” According to Alan Cohn, LISW and director of faculty, staff and employee relations at the University of Virginia it is “a liability, a legal issue” for a supervisor to jump to the wrong conclusion about drug abuse. A well trained supervisor is better prepared to identify and deal with a substance abusing employee. They will also have more confidence when dealing with reasonable suspicion. One thing that supervisors learn from our supervisor education sessions is that they can call us at any time, 24/7 for a management consultation with a counselor to discuss a difficult employee issue whether it pertains to substance abuse, psychological change or any other employee behavioral issue.
A confidential, no-cost solution for employees: Perhaps the most important way your organization should be benefiting from an EAP is by giving your employees the means to get help on their own. Many substance abusers want to be freed from an addiction but do not know where to turn. Even if you have a “last chance agreement” policy, fear is still a significant barrier to approaching management about substance abuse. An EAP will make any workplace safer because of this feature, but a workplace with random drug testing will benefit in multiples from the EAP because the random testing provides significant additional motivation to seek help.
BWC Discounts: According to Ease@Work Sales Manager Patrick Gaul, the majority of calls to Ease@Work for information about substance abuse related services used to be from businesses interested in discounts from the Ohio BWC. The BWC DFWP program was an especially good incentive when they used to encourage all businesses to participate in the program by offering discounts from 10-20% for establishing a Drug Free Workplace Program that met their standards. As of last year the Ohio BWC took this incentive away from thousands of Ohio companies by disqualifying those which already receive another discount, including a group rating. Apparently there are more changes in the works. According to an email update that Patrick received from Advocare, Inc., a Cleveland-based group health and workers’ compensation managed care organization, “It is very likely a new drug-free safety program will replace the existing Ohio Bureau of Workers Compensation’s (BWC) program by July 1, 2010.” The update went on to say that the potential changes are a mixture of good news and bad for DFWP companies. For example they are considering elimination of the stacking rule, but only for companies at the advanced level which requires random testing of 25% of the workforce. They are also considering elimination of the 5 year limit for the discount program, but the discounts will be reduced to 4-7%. If you would like to receive industry updates from Advocare, you can reach them at www.advocare-inc.com.
The Society for Human Resource Management recently published an article of offbeat or humorous stories related by HR Managers to SHRM Online. One example was a request by a Wiccan employee for time off work to celebrate the Winter Solstice. The request was granted and the Manager “received [an] education on maintaining an objective perspective and to not pass judgment.”
The article then went on to describe a few other anecdotes submitted to SHRM Online and ended with a story recounted by an HR Director describing a valuable employee who had requested that the company
“…somehow protect him from the alien rays that were shooting at him from his computer and slowly killing him”
At this point, my EAP filter kicked in and I immediately thought, “Great, a story about how the EAP saved the day. She’s going to get this guy some help, right?” Wrong. The article went on to describe the HR Director’s resolution.
“So I sent the office manager to a medical supply store and we purchased one of those large lead dental protectors and I convinced the employee that by putting that apron over his computer when he was not there would keep all ‘rays’ from coming through to him… Yup, he bought that and stayed with us for another few years”
I imagine many people reading the article found this funny. I can appreciate this type of humor, especially if it was in a movie like Office Space. In that movie, Milton clearly had some problems, but he is one of my all time favorite characters and I have no problem finding humor in his disturbed personality. What’s the difference? Milton is a character! I think that people today have a hard time understanding the difference between the way fictitious characters are treated and the way people should be treated in real life.
According to Ease@Work Counselor Sandra Lavelle, the employee fearing the alien rays “is likely to suffer from a serious and chronic mental illness and this company’s solution in reality is not that simplistic nor appropriate.” She went on to say this story “…speaks to the ignorance of mental illness by the general working public as well as management in Human Resources”
I know that these might sound like harsh words, but why is it that companies are more concerned about liability exposure presented by an employee requesting a non-traditional religious holiday than they are with getting proper treatment for an employee suffering from mental illness?
As I was preparing to write this post, I received an email from a friend who is a Special Education Teacher. She was thrilled because a parent had thanked her for being the “bright spot” in her disabled son’s life. Apparently this child is difficult to deal with because of his special needs and most people are not as patient with him as his teacher.
If we look around, there are many examples of people mistreating other people simply because they are different. For centuries racism and sexism were accepted and it wasn’t until very recently, in the context of history, that critical mass was reached with regard to the disapproval of blatant racism and sexism. In many respects we have a long way to go but at least the business community can no longer discriminate on the basis of a person’s race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy), national origin, age (40 or older), disability or genetic information.
I am not calling for prosecution of people who make fun of mental illness or people who are impatient with special needs children. I would like it though if people would begin to think like a professional when encountering interpersonal challenges. A special needs child should not rely on his teacher to be the one and only “bright spot” in his day just because he does not behave like the other children. An employee suffering from delusions should be able to get professional help when turning to his HR Director for help rather than being made fun of in a national forum for the HR industry.
So, the question remains: How would I expect the HR Director to respond to the employee fearing alien rays which were slowly killing him through his computer?
An evaluation by the EAP would have been a great start. According to Lavelle, “The recommendations of this evaluation would best meet his needs pharmacologically and may give him counseling resources for therapy to best assist him to manage his mental illness. This individual then has the best possible outcome to stay well and be a productive employee.”
And isn’t that what being in management is all about?
Most full-service EAP’s would be happy to provide an in-service for management on ways to deal with difficult employees by utilizing the services provided by the EAP. If your EAP will not do this, get a better EAP. It’s that simple. Finding a better EAP is much easier than replacing a manager, addressing legal fallout, or risking personal injury from an incident in which employee behavior was treated inappropriately.
As a business owner, manager or human resource (HR) professional, have you noticed a rise in employee use of sick time? Or, have you seen an increase in employees and their family members using health care benefits? Has there been a spike in employees accessing your employee assistance program (EAP) benefit?
Not surprising during a down economy, said Shelly Wolff, a representative with Watson Wyatt. “Wolff said sick day increases are often tied to job stress, which can trigger health problems. Companies that cut jobs frequently heap more work on remaining workers.”
The Watson Wyatt survey supports Wolff’s conclusions, with 78 percent of those surveyed saying that “excessive work hours” were a leading cause of stress for them.
As for increased health care usage, the cause may be two-fold. One: job stress can trigger or exacerbate health problems, resulting in a need for professional medical care. Two: the employee may feel that they and their dependents need to use their healthcare benefits while they still have them. (I know I have personally heard employees say they were going to have some procedure done that they had been putting off, just because they were uncertain about the security of their job and wanted to make sure they had their medical issues taken care of before a possible reduction in force.)
Sometimes a lay-off or reduction-in-force is the only fiscally responsible decision for an organization. Most of the time, the focus is on the employee being laid off or terminated – after all, their world is being turned upside down. But after the dust settles, what happens to the employees who are left behind?
Managers and HR professionals need to be tuned-in to recognizing signs of employee stress after a major change to the work environment. While organization leaders are not expected to be mental health professionals, they should have access to expert advice. Managers and HR can call their EAP at any time for a management consultation if they want help with dealing with a stressed-out employee. The EAP should also provide onsite management training for dealing with behavior issues.
Understand that any type of relevant change may cause a grief-reaction in employees. Change can be painful and disruptive and there can be an element of loss for “what was.”
Employees may be in denial – “I can’t believe this is happening.”
They may resist change – “They don’t know what they’re doing.”
They may think or say – “I was fine with the way things were before, so I’m just going to keep doing things that way.”
Employers should also recognize many employees experience emotional issues with major changes at work, home or when combined. Management can help employees move through adjustment phases and return to high levels of productivity more quickly if they help employees navigate the process. This may mean acknowledgement of the feelings and grief they may be experiencing.
Asking your EAP to conduct an on-site debriefing may be appropriate if you have a lay-off or staff reduction situation. This on-site program can help both those leaving and the employees who remain. And, while it may be more obvious as to why this type of session can help those being laid-off, what management often forgets is that those who remain to do the work also have emotional reactions that impact productivity the workplace – they may feel guilty about having a job when a long-time co-worker and friend is no longer there, they may feel stressed by having additional responsibilities, they may worry that their position is next to be cut.
Your EAP can also provide other seminars to assist employees negotiate through times of change, whether your concern is based in changes employees may be experiencing in the workplace or at home. Seminars on change management topics may be helpful, as may a seminar about managing stress or on a motivational topic such as how to rediscover passion for your work or optimism.
Stress enters our lives on almost a daily basis – deadline pressures at work, a less-than-perfect personal relationship, the honking horn behind you in a traffic jam…And most of the time, we manage the stress and move on. But the holidays seem to bring with them a heightened element of stress for many. Now, not only do we have to contend with all of our “normal” stressors, but we also have the added pressures that come from our own, and other’s expectations of us, regarding what the holidays should be like.
Just last weekend, my family and I went out to pick and cut our tree. (Yes, we celebrate the Christian holiday, but stress does not discriminate based on beliefs!) So, there were a number of families there – children romping between the trees, squealing in delight; a couple holding hands riding out on the horse-drawn wagon to choose their first tree together; multiple generations of families selecting trees for their homes. And then there was “the mean dad.” (That’s what my kids called him.)
This father was obviously on stress overload from the whole tree-picking process. He had just dragged his family’s tree back to the barn to pay and was waiting to have it tied onto his car. While standing in the haphazard line, you could see his impatience growing – shifting from foot to foot, anxiously looking at the tree farm workers to see which customer they were helping, frown on his face. Meanwhile, his wife and two children (which were about 5- and 9-years-old) were smiling and laughing…and yes, making noise.
He looked at them a couple of times, and said, “Shhh.” But they continued to play while waiting. When the children started tugging on his sleeve and asking if they were going to decorate the tree when they got home, he snapped.
“For crying out loud,” (he really used some other colorful language involving the Christmas babe’s name separated by the action version of a slang word that is forbidden in our house),”we just took two hours picking out this damn tree and we don’t even have it home yet, now you’re asking me if we’re gonna decorate it today.”
All of a sudden, everyone was looking at him like his head was spinning around like Linda Blair’s in the Exorcist. He had succeeded in quieting not only his kids, but everyone else around him. His wife, quickly and in hushed tones, herded the children into the car.
Certainly (and I’m not making excuses for his behavior), this man was probably dealing with other stressors in his life that resulted in an inappropriate reaction. The expectations of his family, perhaps combined with his perception of getting a tree as being his responsibility as a father, may have been the stress factor that put him “over the edge.”
Now, not all of us may be as stressed as that person was, but to varying degrees, most of us will feel a bit of holiday stress. Watch out for the following symptoms.
Physical Symptoms:
Headache
Sleep irregularities
Rapid heart rate/chest pain
Increased blood pressure
Weight loss or gain
Muscle tension
Fatigue
Reduce immunity /Resistance to illness
Digestive problems
Emotional Symptoms:
Irritability
Nervousness/Anxiety
Mood swings
Trouble concentrating or problem solving
Difficulty resolving conflicts
Unexplained or irrational sadness or anger
Excessive/Increased use of alcohol or drugs
Know your sensitive spots…in other words: What are the triggers that really get to you and elevate your stress levels? Some common ones during the holidays include:
Family or certain family members
Personal relationships
Emotions surrounding the holiday
Financial issues
Overindulgence in food or alcohol
Once you are aware of the danger zones, you can take precautions to manage the stress, even if you can’t completely avoid it. Some suggestions might include:
Manage the reality of the holiday and don’t buy into the fantasy promoted by popular media. It’s impossible to create the “perfect” holiday as portrayed on television, magazines or the Internet. Honor the traditions that you can and create new ones that fit into your lifestyle. Base your holiday on love and balance it with your responsibilities to work and family.
Decide to set family differences aside, if only for the holiday. Try to accept family members and friends as they are.
Keep up your healthy habits during the holidays. These will help you keep a routine, which helps with balance and stress. Set aside time for yourself to relax and exercise.
Set a budget before you go shopping and stick to it. Plan ahead financially for party and travel expenses. And, if your stuck in a money crunch this year, don’t be afraid to cut back on spending for gifts. Don’t go into additional debt now that will add to financial stress in the new year. Instead, get creative with either homemade gifts or the gift of expertise in a particular area, for example: offer to paint a friend’s kitchen, mow an elderly relative’s lawn for the summer, or put up items to sell on craigs list or e-bay for someone who does not have a computer or is not computer saavy.
If despite your best efforts, you still find yourself feeling stressed or sinking into a holiday hole – don’t be afraid to ask for help. Seek support from those around you – friends, relatives, religious or social services. And remember, many employers will have an employee assistance program (EAP) that is there to help you with exactly this type of situation.
If you don’t know who your EAP is or how to contact them, ask someone in your human resources department for that information. You don’t have to tell your HR person why you are calling the EAP, as EAPs operate as a confidential benefit service for employees.
The CSHRM Silent Auction committee pauses for a picture after setting up the donations to be auctioned for Towards Employment.
by Patrick Gaul
This week I concluded a project that began in the spring. I am on the “Chapter Champion” committee for Cleveland Society for Human Resource Management (CSHRM). Our committee is responsible for the annual silent auction which takes place at (almost) every November CSHRM Chapter meeting.
Our committee’s first job was to choose a charity to receive the proceeds from the auction. This is something I was excited about. What an opportunity to influence a decision that could have a positive effect on hundreds of people, maybe more! As an employee of a non-profit agency myself, (Ease@Work is a department of the Center for Families and Children – CFC), I know how profoundly important the work of a good non-profit agency can be.
I suggested we choose a charity that would help address some glaring economic needs this region is facing. Most area businesses are struggling financially, many people are struggling financially, and both are impacted by the other. Employment is at the core of this in both directions. NE Ohio businesses need productive employees and more people are in need of jobs than at any time that most living people can remember.
I immediately thought of Towards Employment (TE) as our charity of choice for this auction. I first learned of TE because CFC does a lot of work with community re-entry, supporting not only people as they are being released from prison, but also their families. There are many factors that affect recidivism including mental health and family involvement, which CFC addresses, and employment, which Towards Employment addresses. I have come to learn that Towards Employment is very good at helping this population become a productive member of society by helping their clients become reliable employees. It just so happens that my little corner of CFC, Ease@Work, helps employees to maintain a course of productivity if they should be derailed by a personal issue. Towards Employment has a program called Achieve that helps with this also. So, the fragile nature of the “productive employee” and how non-profit agencies can help with this is something that I know well.
My involvement on this committee provided me with a great opportunity to take what I have learned and do something good with it. We assembled an excellent team of silent auction committee members and went to work. Our next two tasks were to solicit items for the auction and to create the program. As the “sales guy”, it seemed natural for me to work on the donations.
I enjoyed watching Jody Wheaton, our Chapter Champion and Amy Hodous, my silent auction co-chair, work with committee members Megan Busovicki and Corrinne Macias to create the program for the meeting. It flowed quite naturally because we had some momentum from our discussions around finding a charity. We wanted a topic that would inspire the audience to give and would help the audience to learn how corporations can have a positive effect on their workers, their workplace and this community. The group concluded that it all comes down to getting people to “Engage and Give”. Subsequently, they assembled a panel to speak on the importance of Corporate Social Responsibility. The panel addressed ways in which companies can help the community by encouraging volunteerism, charitable giving, green initiatives, etc. Hearing this panel discussion was a light bulb moment for me. Not only do I enjoy working for CFC because of the good work that we do for this community, but because they allow me to meet my need for community involvement. The time I spent with this committee helped me to feel more engaged as an employee, a member of society and a member of the HR Community. Thank you CFC and thank you CSHRM.
